Having People over Just Isn't Worth It

I’ve been considering having a party of sorts. Not a huge blowout or anything because I live in an apartment complex, and, frankly, I don’t have enough friends for a party of that caliber. I was thinking about four to seven people. I’ve been feeling pretty lonely ever since the summer has ended. I’m seeing my boyfriend a lot less because he’s started his fall semester at school, and my friends and I all have jobs.

But then I thought about how having people over is expensive even if you tell everyone, “BYOB.” Or “Potluck!”

But if you do those things, I feel like you’re “that guy.” Especially with the whole “bring your own food” thing. Then your friends come over thinking, I’m just going to bring a side dish or beverage because obviously, since Megan is hosting, she’ll have entrees available. She’s pretty much just asking us to supplement her food offerings, I’m sure.

But that’s not the case. I wouldn’t have entrees to provide, and then everyone would be like, “Wow, what a bitch. She didn’t even provide for her own guests. I don’t want to come to another one of Megan’s parties. All she did was say we could occupy space that she’s happening to rent, but we still have to buy the food and drinks. She’s not any different than a restaurant.”

And then they’d all leave. Plus, I don’t like potlucks. When someone suggests one and I say, “Super fun!” I’m really saying, “Super fun! We can all bring our own dishes and talk about how everyone’s food is so good but only really eat what we each brought because what other people make is weird or their dishes never look quite clean. And when people cook alone they are never as sanitary as when they cook in front of other people. How long has that been sitting in your car?”

Then I just go home hungry and praying I didn’t eat someone’s hair.

And if it’s BYOB, then people are going to sharing liquor and beer. When I hear BYOB, I’m thinking, I brought this liquor for me and me alone. No, you cannot mix my rum with your whatever the hell mixer you brought instead of bringing liquor or beer. Because I brought liquor. Liquor for me! It’s not my fault you ignored the YO in BYOB.

I’m just overly territorial like that.

So back to the main point: Parties and get-togethers are expensive. I would feel like I would have to provide the bulk of food and liquor in order to feel like an adequate hostess. Otherwise the night would end with either me being really hungry for fear of eating other people’s food, or my friends hating me because I don’t share rum.