Objective: Make cornbread.
Steps: mix together Jiffy cornbread mix, 1/3 cup of milk, and one egg.
Actual steps taken:
1. Realize I don’t have a muffin pan thinger or a pan like Mom has. Wonder if glass pan thing I have will suffice.
2. Decide that glass pan thing does, in fact, suffice.
3. On box it has a picture of all ingredients mixed together in a bowl. Wonder if this actually has to happen in a bowl or if it can be mixed together directly in glass pan thing.
4. Pour cornbread mix and 1/3 cup of milk in glass pan thing.
5. Go to fridge for eggs. Realize the date says September 28. Wonder if eggs actually go bad. Consider Googling it and also “can bad eggs can kill you.” Decide I don’t want to know the answer and add one egg to the mixture.
6. Wonder if I might die from cornbread and realize how sad that is.
7. Successfully mix ingredients together and feel proud and domestic.
8. Wait for oven to preheat.
9. Go to put the glass pan thing in oven and set the timer.
10. Realize I threw away the box that notes the amount of time that it should be in the oven.
11. Retrieve box from trash and triumphantly and purposefully leave it on the counter this time.
12. Notice that my glass pan thing is different than muffin pan thinger pictured on the box and wonder if that will change the cooking time. Box says fifteen to twenty minutes. Set timer for ten minutes and pray that this works and open Netflix.
EDIT:
Not feeling too well. It could either be salmonella, the diet coke, my mild case of hypochondria, or the AIDS I contracted at work when I read the symptoms for AIDS.
EDIT EDIT:
Seriously, guys. I'm about 80 percent sure I have food poisoning. This is NOT GOOD. I feel absolutely terrible, and I have no one to take care of me.
I'm currently trying to figure out which bowl to set by my bed in case I need to puke. I can't decide on which bowl is my least favorite. I use all of these for popcorn.
EDIT:
Not feeling too well. It could either be salmonella, the diet coke, my mild case of hypochondria, or the AIDS I contracted at work when I read the symptoms for AIDS.
EDIT EDIT:
Seriously, guys. I'm about 80 percent sure I have food poisoning. This is NOT GOOD. I feel absolutely terrible, and I have no one to take care of me.
I'm currently trying to figure out which bowl to set by my bed in case I need to puke. I can't decide on which bowl is my least favorite. I use all of these for popcorn.
Lessons: 1) If the eggs are older than your last blog post, they're bad. 2) The trashcan/wastebasket in your bedroom should never have decorative holes or weaving. That is so you can use it (instead of your favorite popcorn bowls)for puking. 3) You need to hit up a garage sale or a dollar store for a muffin pan.
ReplyDeleteI found this post quite entertaining. Also, just last week I wanted to make cupcakes. I needed an egg as well, but my only option was a carton over a month expired. I called my mom to ask her if I should still use the egg. She advised me against it. Thus, I avoided food poisoning but also didn't get my cupcakes. I admire your ability to throw caution to the wind and go for it anyway :)
ReplyDeleteI also recently made cornbread in a glass pan thinger because I don't own the kind of pan on the box. I also mixed all the ingredients in the glass pan :). I didn't have the expired egg problem, however I did fail to adjust the cooking time for the wrong-pan situation. They burned :/. Shoulda read your blog first!!
ReplyDeletebuahahahaha. love it.
ReplyDelete